Stolen Thoughts

My OJT days

2010-06-01T14:14:00.007+08:00

[Now Listening to: Kare Uta]

[by: the GazettE]

[mood: resting...]

Yo! It's been a while since I updated this blog of mine. Really, masyado talaga akong tamad when it comes to things like this. Dati naman, hindi ako ganito. Lalo na nung high school. Basta may maganda o nakakainis na pangyayari sa akin, nilalagay ko rito sa blog kong ito. Ngayon, wala na. Kung kelan naman may internet na kami sa bahay, tsaka naman ako tinamad mag-update ng blog ko.

Anyways...

I just had my OJT (on-the-job training) as my pre-requisite for my incoming fourth year stuff. At first, me and my friends were having difficulties last year as to where we will apply for our OJT. Medyo na-turn off kami sa isang company dahil sa almost kalahati yata ng Mass Communication population ay puro doon nag-apply. Kaya medyo nawalan kami ng gana. Baka makita pa namin iyong mga kinaiinisan namin. Ay day! Super impiyerno to the max na naman iyon!

*ehem*

Tapos naalala ni Manga (my lover's codename) na bakit hindi na lang kami mag-apply sa company ng professor namin sa Drama. Pumayag naman si Ate (anak namin ni Manga.. >///<)

And thus doon nabuo ang plano sa pagpunta sa company ni Sir Drama.

Ayun, matapos namin magpunta sa lugar na iyon ng D.Tuazon, matapos ang brief interview ng mga heads...

Natanggap rin kami.

We started working there last April 8. And I never thought that I would be really enjoying my OJT there kahit na daig pa ang init sa kuta ni Pareng Luci at pugon sa bakery.

The Atmosphere:

The atmosphere were pretty good. Friendly ang lahat ng tao. The Heads and especially our Creative Director which is our Drama Professor. Maliit nga ang space ngunit masaya pa rin. May mga oras nga lang noon ay grabe sa init dahil sa panahong galit na galit si Pareng Araw. Maraming mga students na doon piniling mag-OJT. Mostly, galing sa university kung saan ako nag-aaral. Pero kahit na ganoon. Ewan ko ba, may mga ilan talagang tao na darating sa buhay mo para pasakitin ang lintik mong ulo.

Napunta kaming tatlo sa Events Department. At nung pumasok kami doon, iyon na yata ang masasabi kong hulog ng langit para sa aming tatlo. Who would've known that we'll be given the chance to handle a very grandiose event? Yes, you heard it right! Kaming tatlo kasi ang unang OJTs na napunta under Events Department at nung time na iyon ay may inaasikaso silang pinakamalaking event para sa taong ito. Ano iyon? Pansamantala, sekreto muna. Siyempre, bawal sabihin dahil mawawala na ang surprise kapag nalaman ninyo. Since doon na kami magtatrabaho simula ngayon, baka tanggalin kami kapag sinabi ko. Or worse, makasuhan pa. *shivers*

Anyways, ayun nga. Kami man ang maghahandle non, siyempre, iyong Head namin sa Events ang pinakamain head. Pero since kami ang nauna, sabi ni Sir C.D, kami na raw magha-handle non forever. Siyempre, shock ang lola mo. Unexpected kasi iyon. XD

So ayun.

Meetings and stuff:

Sa laki ng event namin na iyon, siyempre, kasama na roon ang may mga meeting meeting echos para sa mga venues, sponsors, beneficiaries and stuff. Hindi ko rin inakala na makakapunta ako sa isang meeting at mararanasan ko kung ano ang madalas na nangyayari sa mga ganoong klase ng meeting. I am really thankful for I was given the chance to attend and see how the 'masters' work their way to get what they aim to have. And all in all, marami akong natutunan...

Stress and the shits:

Ang pinakakinalaban namin, STRESS. Susme, lalo na iyong magkakasunod na linggo na wala kaming ginawa kung hindi mag-isip ng concept at mag-brainstorm. Ilang beses kayang natuyot ang utak ko? Hindi ko alam. Basta ang natandaan ko lang, halos hindi na ako natutulog at nagpapahinga dahil minsan, paghiga ko ng kama, pagpikit ko, parang ilang minuto lang ang itutulog ko. Mamaya, gigising na naman ako at maghahanda sa pagpasok ko. Nakakaloka. Pero all in all, masaya. Ito na rin yata ang trabaho na lagi akong may sleepover. XD

Actually, hindi na ako makapaghintay na makapag-trabaho ulit. Mas iyon na yata ang tinitingnan ko kaysa sa pagpasok sa school. In a way kasi, pakiramdam ko ay malapit ko nang makamit iyong ilan sa mga plano ko sa buhay. Bukod pa diyan, marami akong experience na makukuha sa pagtatrabaho ko sa field na ito.

Pero, ang balak ko, mga ilang taon lang ako magtatrabaho sa company na ito. Mas gusto ko talaga i-pursue ang matagal ko nang pangarap sa sarili ko. At iyon ay ang maging isang writer. Kaya next year, kailangan ko na talagang pumasa sa screening test na iyon ng isang publishing company para makaattend na ako ng seminar nilang iyon! RAWR!

(this picture is taken by Cali Ynoviel, do not steal)

*the avatar/photo was taken by Cali Ynoviel, DO NOT STEAL

Happy New Year and More Happiness To Come!

2010-01-06T22:06:00.014+08:00

[Now Listening to: As Ever/Still ]
[by: A.N.JELL ]

[mood: doing my best to smile]

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Woohoo!!!

At last! 2010 has finally come!

Oh my, now would you look at that? After all the things that happened for the last years, I survived! And I hope you guys did too! Hahahaha! XD

And kahit late na at least bumati naman ako, hindi ba?

It's been a long time since I updated. Eh kasi wala akong nagawang avatar kaya tinatamad akong mag-post eh. (Sabay ganon?) I actually tried to make this avatar that I had right now. Hmm. Wala lang. Napaghahalatang ginawa lang out of boredomness. XD

Anyways, so here I am. Welcoming the year with this post of mine. Para naman kahit paano maging updated naman ang blog kong ito. :D At sana, hindi siya maging hiatus again because of my school schedules. Gosh. Pwede ko bang sabihin na ang hirap maging third year Mass Comm student? Why?

Many reasons. But I'll cite few of them. This is my opinion only, okay? I don't state for the whole community. So spare me. XD

1. More and more activities - dahil sa third year ka na, siyempre marami ka nang gagawin na mga activities in relation to the course you took. Sa lahat naman eh. Di ba? As for me, in a way I'm grateful to these activities kasi unti-unti na akong natuto sa mga dapat gawin at dapat ginagawa sa field. Kumbaga, I'm starting to apply what I've learned in those long hours of salivating lectures and drooling tones of those old age professors. I was just exaggerating, I know. Kaya lang, sa ganitong siste, minsan, kahit gustuhin mo mang gandahan ang presentation mo, dahil sa sunud-sunod ang mga pinapagawa ng mga professors na akala mo eh hindi nagdaan sa pagkabata at sa paggimik at pagbabarkada, daig pa nila ang mga wrestlers na nag-tag team match kung magpabigay ng kaliwa't-kanang assignments at kung anu-anong activities, hindi mo minsan talaga maiiwasan na mag-cram, mag-rush at worst, i-mema ang gawa mo. In short, total crappy mema work.

Pero kahit sabihin mong crappy ang work, di ba, gagastos ka pa rin? dito papasok ang susunod...

2. Less and less of the term "your-own" budget and greens in the house - At dahil sa third year ka na, lahat ay mag-uumpisang tumaas. Gastusin mo sa school, hours na ilalagi mo sa lugar ng kung saan-saan for the activities, pag-uwi mo ng gabi, dami ng sleepovers at kung anu-ano pa. Pero isa lang ang hindi tumataas kahit na ba third year ka na.

Ang baon mo.

Pati nga ang presyon ng mga magulang mo tumataas kapag nalalamang may babayaran ka na naman sa school eh. Hindi lang iyon, lagi ka pang umaalis kahit wala kang pasok sa ibang mga araw. Eh ano bang magagawa natin? Nag-aaral tayo eh? Nag-aaral ako eh? At kailangan nating mag-participate sa mga activities kung saan dapat tayong sumali kung hindi ay wala tayong straight line na makukuha sa mga cards natin, di ba?

Siyempre, sa pagtaas ng presyon, kasama na rin ang pagtaas ng paghingi mo ng pera kapag aalis ka sa mga araw na walang pasok.

Bilang college student, naranasan ko na rin ang ilang beses sabihan ng kung anu-ano ng magulang ko kapag sinabi kong aalis ako para may gawin for school. And up to now, mukhang hindi pa rin siya sanay na kailangan ko talagang umalis. Lagi niyang sinasabi na wala na kaming pera at kung anu-ano pang mga pagdududa ang sasabihin niya. Siyempre, ano bang magagawa ko? Eh di keep quiet na lang. Baka kung ano pang mangyari kapag binara mo siya na, "Palit tayo, ikaw ang mag-aral." Eh di tuluyan ko nang hindi narating ang pangarap ko? XD

Naiintindihan ko naman ang sintir ng mga magulang tungkol sa kahirapan ng walang pera. I admit, kami ngayon ay walang-wala nang pera. At hindi umuusbong ang negosyo. Hanggang ngayon nga ay iniisip ako kung paano ako mag-su-survive sa semester na ito. Kung writer lang ako na nakakapag-publish na ng mga gawa ko at kahit paano ay kumikita na, eh di solve na sana ang mga worries ko? Hindi na sila mangungunsumi sa paghingi mo ng pera kasi hindi ka hihingi sa kanila. At pwede ka nang magpunta sa mga lugar na gusto mo dahil may sarili ka na namang pera. Grabe, ang sarap talagang mangarap ano?

Kaya nga iyon na lang ang gawin mo habang nakikinig ka sa sinasabi ng magulang mo na: Mas gugustuhin ko pang mamatay kaysa mapahiya ako sa mga tao ko.

3. Dream on, dream on... - habang naka-upo ka sa loob ng isang klase at nagtuturo ang professor mo, bigla mong makikita na lalapitan ka ng professor mo at kakamayan ka, bibigyan ka ng papel na nakabilot at may tali ng ribbon. Tapos doon mo lang mapapansin na naka-toga ka pala! Abot tainga ngiti mo! Nagtatalon ka sa tuwa. Dahil sa wakas, you, finally, have graduated!!!

Sabay, bigla mong narinig ang paulit-ulit na tawag sa'yo ng prof mo na nasa tabi mo na kulang na lang ay maligo ka sa laway niya habang tinatawag ka niya para ipaliwanag ang sinasabi niya. Huh? Doon mo lang na-realize... Hala! You daydreamed!

Hindi ko maiwasan ang huwag maging ganito minsan, well hindi kasama iyong may laway effect ah? Tindi non. XD Hindi lang daydream actually, but napansin ko na ilan sa mga third years, isa na ako doon, ay nag-uumpisa nang ma-bored sa mga profs na walang ginawa kundi mag-lecture ng mag-lecture ng minsan ay mga obvious naman na itinuturo.

Don't get me wrong. Hindi po ako bitter. Kaya lang, hindi ba't parang iikot lang naman ang iikot ang topic kapag ganon? If you know already the discussed topic, pakiramdam ko'y pwede na tayong mag-jump sa susunod.

Pero kunsabagay, isa rin kasi ako sa mga hindi nakikinig sa klase. XD

I find it hard to focus my attention on the topics or lectures that involves so much talking and I have no idea of what are they talking about. Depende na rin kung interesado ako sa topic na idi-discuss or what. Napansin ko na nga rin na hindi na ako masyadong nag-te-take down ng notes at basta na lang nakikinig. Actually, wala nga akong separate fillers/notebooks for my subjects this sem. Isang maliit na notebook lang na may kung anu-ano ang isinusulat ko kapag magtuturo na ang mga profs. Pero kudos naman sa mga profs na nakakakuha ng attention ko. They never fail to catch my attention when they teach. And maybe because they do know what they're teaching us. Especially, if what they're teaching us, is their passion to begin with.

I wonder if their parents had this kind of passion too when they're raising this great people to adulthood? Just got curious. XD

4. Eh kasi...magulang. - Now, let's talk about parents na kahit kailan ata ay hindi matatanggap na, this IS the generation. Na kahit anong paliwanag mo ay mukhang hindi ka talaga nila makukuha ang punto mo o kaya naman hindi ka pa rin titigilan sa sermon nila at kung anu-ano pa. If you guys don't have this kind of parents, then you're lucky. To those who don't, we're still lucky too. Why? Kasi natututo tayong ipaglaban kung ano ang gusto nating ipakita sa kanila. That we can stand on our own two litte growing feet. And we're reaching that stage that's called, Young Adulthood

As for me, titingnan ko na lang sa bright side ang lahat tungkol sa kanila. Kahit na ba hindi ko na alam ang dapat kong gawin para maipakita lang sa kanila na naiintindihan ko naman sila, intindihin pa rin. Ang gulo no? Ganyan talaga. Kahit ako, hanggang ngayon naguguluhan eh. Naiipit pa rin at nahihirapan, pero iniisip ata nila na hindi ako nahihirapan. Na sila lang talaga lahat ang gumagawa ng kung anu-ano para makapag-ano ng ano. Ano iyon? Kayo na bahalang mag-decipher.

I agree, ang hirap talagang magpalaki ng magulang. Iyong no matter how hard you explain, no effect pa rin. O di ba nakakaloka?! Bakit ko siya isinali sa reasons ko? Eh kasi blog ko ito at isa ito sa mga reasons ko. Nahihirapan ako kasi minsan, habang nasa school, hindi ko alam kung paano ako magkakaroon ng pera para hindi na ma-high blood sa akin ng Mama ko kapag humihingi ako ng pera na ang iniisip niya ay ipinanggagastos ko lang sa wala. Eh ganon talaga eh. Eh di hayaan siyang mag-isip ng ganon. Nakakapagod din naman kasi ang paulit-ulit na magpaliwanag sa taong alam mong hindi naman nakikinig talaga sa'yo. Di ba?

Pero kahit na magkaganon, dapat pa ring harapin ang bagong taon ng may ngiti sa aking mga labi. Mahirap talaga ang buhay. Unfair at kung anu-ano pa. But that what makes it interesting, right? And as long as there are those who are making you happy and very much alive and loving you with all of their hearts, aren't you smile for their efforts and sweetness? Kaya nga dapat lagi din tayong naka-smile for them to uplift their spirits.

At sa bagong taon na ito, gusto kong punan ang buong taon ng puro mga masasayang ngiti kalakip na doon ang mga masasayang alaala na pwede kong itago at alagaan sa aking puso. ^_^

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

A heart-failing week and an exciting upcoming of something big! XD

2009-12-05T01:26:00.000+08:00

[Now Listening to: Eternal Snow]
[by:Changing My Life]

[mood: tired]

Wouldn't be so great? To start a week with pure smiles. With a carefree you jumping and skipping in this flowery field with the cool spring air touching your smooth face?

I hope to have that kind of week before. Because this first week is very special to me. But dammit, every day of December was really have to be ruined by this fucking crisis and this fucking situation here in my dramatic-family.

And day by day, I get more and more emotionally tired of this never-ending soap opera. Why wouldn't just all of this end?!?!?! Do I really need to suffer this much for what I did years ago? So yeah, I was the one who told my dad that he should just let my mom free. But I only did that because I don't want the both of them get hurt anymore. Damn it! I love them both! But he couldn't see it. Up to now, I feel I'm still responsible when everyone tells me shouldn't be.

And this was all started when I went to my mom's province with my dad and my little brother. Dad keeps on being sarcastic and I'm really having a hard time to cope with it while I was there beside him. For one, half of my heart was really happy to see him because I missed him a lot. While the other one was still hurting by the fact that he still can't move on. And I'm dealing with things with him when in the first place, I shouldn't be the one dealing with everything.

It's their battle. But I kept on being in the middle of their boxing fight. If it weren't for my lover, I wouldn't be able to look forward each day if my lover wasn't there to make me smile, laugh and forget those things that I'm experiencing right now.

Right now, it's confusing me. I don't want to take sides. I don't want for others to think that I'm on the others' side. I don't know what to do with it anymore. Sometimes, all I want is just to be with my lover and never return to this place again. We'll go to some place that we can be us and we can be happy. But doing that right now would cause chaos in our lives. As for now, we just have to hang onto each other and strengthen our bonds and make our dream come true. And that is, our upcoming future with our plans together.

Mom had just talked to me, she told me things about the separation of their properties between hers and dad. And she was asking me if I'm ready to testify to the court to answer some questions in regards to their separation and the support and some other stuffs that are related to it. If I want to testify, she'll get an attorney so that the could get the properties and equally separate it. Because the reason why she'll hire an attorney is for taking the rights of me and my little brother in those properties, for us to use. She said that I should think it over. If ever I wouldn't want to testify to the court, she'll respect it. But she'll never let my dad take the house in Laguna, neither some of the properties because it's for me and my little brother, according to her.

I don't know what should I do in this matter. And as we speak, I keep on thinking about it. I don't want my dad to get hurt. But my mom fights for our welfare. Mom wants to get her surname again because she plans to work in abroad. I know she thinks about us. Our welfare. I know, that dad thinks about us too. But this kind of thing is too big for me. What should I do?

All I want is to be with my lover. I want to be wrapped in my lover's arms, to feel my lover's lips. And the best thing for me to do to help me calm down is to think of my lover. And it never fails to do its spell on me. To make me smile whenever I see my lover in my mind.

You know, even I had this tiring week, I'm still looking forward to each days. Especially now, today's is Vylri's birthday. He's 1 year-old! I can't wait to have some adventures with him, later. My friends and I (together with my lover) will be celebrating Vylri's birthday.

And then, tomorrow, it will be my special day. And I'm very much looking forward to it.

Because it's my birthday. We're very much looking forward to our plans that day. With me and GlammatZ. It's gonna be a long but enjoyable day. I know. I believe it will be. Because my friends and my lover (most especially) will be there, celebrating with me. ^_^

So, I won't give up.
I won't...

=Chiharu=

*photo/avatar made by me. photography by Cali Ynoviel. Don't steal*

Where have I been?!

2009-10-24T14:24:00.012+08:00

[Now listening to: Before I Decay ]
[by: the GazettE]
[mood: mean]

Yo! Hizashiburi desu! Hahaha! You thought my blog was on hiatus or have been dropped off completely by the lousy blog mistress, am I right?!?!

Well, news for you guys, you were right but wrong! Bwahahahaha! Now, the evil mistress is back to bum you away once again with different posts on different stuffs that's going in and out of my world. Hahaha! As if there's someone who's interested, right? Oh well... XD

Moving on, my writing has been stopped for a while but now I'm back, my 2 laptops went down and as of the moment, I've been writing my stories manually. Yep, you got that right. With the traditional, same old pen and paper routine. I've been writing a story that could range to 4 to 5 chapters depending on my mood to write or if I'm able to do it despite my tough schedule. I know, it's my Semestral break, but I can't help it if I still got things to do. Good thing it's not school stuff for now. And I still somehow have my time.

Things to Do:
* Need to find a work (a part-time actually)
* Need to finish editing pictures
* Need to finish posting those pictures XD
* Need to finish writing my story
* Need to start my band-type story
* Need to finish my accessory

Goodness! I have so many things to do! I left them hanging the last time due to my school works and all and now I'm back to face it head on! Hahaha!

I miss writing, I hope nothing has changed in the way that I write, or if there's a change, I hope it's in a good way, not the other way around....

And now, for a little flashback of what happened to me these past few years... or days or....just past. XD

WORK

Oh yeah, due to some events that just had happened recently (I so love what happened, the ramblings, the fight, and all! Hahahaha! I'm so mean) , I chose to find a part-time job as I study, in order for me to earn some few bucks and save a little for my plans in life as I graduate from college and from my hell-of-a-life. I'm sick and tired of the shits and the freaking ramblings of the drama queen so I decided that I should find a work that could save her few money and let me do what I want for good.

I'm here once again in her custody because of what happened, I got a flu and when my best friend brought me in her house, when she arrive, gosh, I never thought that the day would come that I'll be ashamed not for myself but for my friend who've seen what she's like when she scolds me or when the two of us argue. That triggered me to finally stood my ground. I've had it! I've had enough of it! I stood up even I was sick that night and we argued, I indeed yelled at her, in front of my friend.

I agree with you, it was a bad thing to do, if you'll gonna say that. But really, it's not me who started it! She was the one who had just slammed the door open and ordered for me to stay at her place forever considering the fact that I was sick (actually, I was sick for 2 days, she didn't know, I slept with my friend's house, telling that we got some homework to finish coz I can't go home that night because I was, sick) that night and there's a person beside me (my friend who helped me get home) who's sleeping. Or at least, pretending to.

I don't want to stay here in this place where she's there too, but I guess for now, I have no choice, since she said that she can't shoulder the finance in the place where I'm staying, and my uncle and cousin had agreed of the separation, I'm somehow forced to stay here, but not really since I have a back-up plan: to stay at my friend's apartment and share the half of the rent in the place. But I have to keep it a secret to her and save my money. For now, I'll agree to her plans and wants, just for a little while, since my graduation would be a year and a half away from my grasps, but my decision of finding a work is still as hard as a rock. In order for me to prepare if I decided to move out of this place soon, I need to find a work that could help me shoulder my at least half of my expenses and could fulfill my needs and wants.

Right now, I'm looking for a possible job that I could fulfill the requirements they need for a person like me. Well, it's not only me. My friend and I were both gonna find work. You know, financial needs. It's a sad thing not to have money, really. Tsk...

PHOTOGRAPHY

Kyaaa!!!

Last 16th I just had my very first photoshoot with my college barkda, "GlammatZ" for our plates in our Photo class. The topic was "Japanese Fashion."

It was not a very good day to begin with but it was fun since it was my and Vylri's first time taking portrait photos outside and taking pictures of my friends as my models. Actually, all of us should be models including me, but when it was about to be my turn, I fell dizzy and it was then we all realized that I had a flu. So the next day, one of my barkada who didn't went in the said shoot posed in my stead. (while I was dozing my ass off away in our university clinic.) Since others had forgotten their clothes/costumes for the shoot, I brought some pairs from my dusty wardrobe for them to use. XD

Right now, we're currently planning for our real project as a group. Before this year ends, we plan to make it happen. I want to make a portfolio of our group, in order to preserve those precious memories. Also, I want everyone of them to have a portfolio that they could use when they apply to work as a model or a photographer or something like that. I plan to make one myself too, for it could be useful when someday I'll take this hobby of mine into another level.

I'll be posting the pictures of our photoshoot soon. So kindly wait for my updates on my dA photography account.

I'll be happy if you leave constructive comments in regards to my photos, thank you very much. ^_^

And this is it for my report. 'Til next time unknown entities. Ja ne.

>end transmission<

At the start of the semester, great, I got sick. XD

2009-07-12T14:36:00.005+08:00

[Now listening to: Shin Ai]
[by: Nana Mizuki]

[mood: sick]

yep! You got it right! XD I'm currently having a fever for almost four days now. And by any chance, this damn fever won't go away.

Eh di ba may A(H1N1) churva? In our school, we have this small gadget that checks your temperature, if you passed it, they'll stamped you with something like "Passed in Temperature Scan...blah blah..." mukha ka tuloy parang baboy na dumaan sa masusing pagsisisayasat kung di ba iyon double dead or nag-suicide.
Hehehe!

Anyways, it's been a month since I posted on my blog. Grabe sobrang hectic sa school! Napaghahalataang junior na aketch! Huwaaah!!!!

Just recently, katatapos lang ng presentation namin for Drama100. Musical ang genre na napili for our group, ako at ang collab ko ang gumawa ng script. It's like a parody for the famous KDrama, BOF

Pagdating sa presentation, medyo nagkagulu-gulo na. Still, I can say that it went fine. Bawi na lang ulit next time. ^_^

At last, nakakapagsulat na ulit ako ng stories. But I won't be posting them for a while. I'll be asking some permissions since I already gave those stories to someone. Kung papayag sila, I might post it here. Nevertheless, I'll try to post some stories here na hindi ko pa naipopost. Hehehehe! XD

The booming sound of his earphones...

2009-06-11T23:48:00.010+08:00

[Now listening to: Insomnia]
[by: Wheesung]

[mood: deranged]

Just an Ordinary Day

Busy streets in the middle of the day.

Suot ang kanyang favorite shades and a rugged outfit, tahimik lang niyang pinapanood ang paroo't parito ng mga taong alam niya kung saan ang punta. Sa mga trabaho nila.

Siya rin dapat ay nagtatrabaho na, pero binigyan niya ng panahon ang sarili para makalabas sa magulo at nakakapagod niyang mundo. He gave himself a break.

Sumandal siya sa steel railing ng isang kilalang establishment at inilagay ang earphones sa kanyang tainga.

It was a melody he composed for almost a week now. At hanggang ngayon, wala pa rin siyang maisip na lyrics na pwedeng mailagay doon.

And for the first time, nangyari iyon sa kanya. That's the reason why he decided to go outside his condominium. To freshen up his mind.

He closed his eyes and let the booming sound coming from his earphones succumb him completely. Humming softly, tila isang pinto ang biglang lumitaw sa kanyang mundo. As he opened it inside his mind, letters started to appear one by one. Slowly forming up words. And as words were slowly being produced, scenes started to pop out like a movie playing inside his brain... Resulting into a story fitting into the melody he was listening to.

In whispers, he sang the lyrics that formed in his mind...

Underneath those petals was your empty soul...
With bare hands,I held your sharp thorns
Yelling in silent pain, I devour your color
Dig deeper my love...

Grasp for.... my devil rose

Matapos ang sabayan ang pinakikinggan, binuksan niya ang kanyang mga mata. He smirked as he raised his shades to greet the shining sun.

Not bad... wika niya sa sarili.

He stood up and placed his hand inside his jean-pockets. Ibinaba na rin niya ang earphones sa kanyang balikat nang magsimula siyang maglakad. He has to go back inside his condo bago niya makalimutan ang kinanta niya...

Sabi na nga ba, all he needed was a little bit of fresh air...

>end<

*sigh of relief* my gulay. Natapos din i-type ang isang ito. What is this? This is my introduction for my upcoming story. Let's just say that my first taglish story na yaoi? Kayanin ko kaya? Bwahahahaha! Wuuu!!! XD

I can't wait to start this project. Kaunti na lang mauumpisahan ko na rin siya.

Oh please don't steal the line. I made that. Don't be bad. Kakagatin ko kayo.

O sige na, I have to sleep. I'll try to update next time.. XD

A Letter written for Me by mE

2009-05-24T20:11:00.014+08:00

[Now Listening to: Glamorous Sky (English Version)]
[by: Hyde]

[mood: bored]

Holding my pen, I played it with my fingers. Thinking of what to write next, my demented brain brought up the most interesting idea...

"What if I write a letter for myself?"

You got that write! Err... I mean right! Haha!
And because I'm so bored to think, I've decided to post the letter in a mix of Tagalog and English or what language that suits my mood right now. Hahaha!

*cough cough*

So, here it goes!

Dear mE,

Hello.

How are you? Oh wait, do I really have to ask that? I know that you're fine and still struggling to the flowing substance called life...

Maraming nangyari sa iyo nitong mga nakaraang taon and up to now, I'm very proud that you're still clinging on.

You always say that whenever you make some changes in your hair, there's a reason as to why you want to do it..

Sa buwan pa lang na ito, maraming kaganapan ang nangyari sa iyo. Nandiyan ang another issue ng parents mo for their separation, people leaving, and right now, sinusubukan mong mag-adjust sa loob ng apartment niyo na kung saan ang kapatid mo, at ang mama mo ay kasalukuyang nakatira kasama mo (together with your 2 tito, 2 maids, and your 2 pinsans na kung saan iyong isa ay natutulog sa umaga due to her shift in the cca).

Mainit ba sa bago mong kwarto mo ngayon? I know, your privacy was once again, shaved off by your mother. Hindi na ikaw ang gumagamit ng kama mo kundi sila na ng kapatid mo at ikaw ay kasama ng mga kasambahay mo sa kabilang kwarto. Sa malaking kwarto na kahit naman malaki ay parang dinaig pa ang impiyerno sa init.

Kahit mahirap, pilitin na lang tiisin. Kapag hindi na kaya, tiisin pa rin. In a way, naging maganda rin ang naidulot ng pagtira nila diyan, despite sa ingay ng apartment dahil sa kapatid mong pasaway. Kasi may mga gamit na kayo ngayon na wala dati! In short, nagmukha na nga siyang tirahan ng mga tao at hindi ng mga nagpapanggap lang na tao.

I just heard recently that something happened to you. I know that it hurts a lot. Pero dapat matuto kang iwan ang mga bagay na nangyari na. I mean come on! Huwag kang selfish. Hindi lang ikaw ang nasasaktan kapag umiiyak ka. Don't think of those people who already left. Think of those who stayed beside you. After all, sila naman talaga ang importante dahil hindi ka nila iniwan nung mga panahon wala kang mapagsabihan ng nararamdaman... You have to let go of them for you to be free na rin. I know you can do that. Ikaw pa. Huwag kang mag-alala dahil hindi ka na naman nag-iisa sa paglalakad mo. Andiyan na ~~siya~~. Ang taong nangakong hindi ka iiwan. Bukod doon, andiyan ang mga kaibigan mong nasa tabi mo mula pa nung umpisa ng gulo sa buhay mo.

Oh, how was the vacation? Masaya akong malaman na sobrang nag-enjoy kasama ang napakahalagang tao sa buhay mo. Walang araw na hindi ka nakangiti at tumatawa. And I'm very much happy that you enjoyed every single moment with that person. A glimpse of the future of the both of you. I know, it will come true. Just continue to believe in it, eventually, that day will come where you can be very happy. Living with your other half...

Have you even noticed the changes in you? Unti-unti, your opening up your world... And I'm very thankful that you met your other half. Your future. Mas naging malinaw ang nakikita mong future ngayon kumpara noon. Dati, wala kang pakialam. Daig mo pa ang zombie sa sobrang monotonous every day, pero ngayon, you look forward every day with a smile on your face. Naks! Iba talaga ang nagagawa kapag tinamaan 'no?

Continue to be happy with your future, dear. And be yourself. At last, you have given the chance to be feel this extreme happiness you never thought you'll be having in your life... Patuloy mong alagaan at pasiyahin ang taong mahal mo. Dahil alam kong iyon din ang kaligayahan mo. To love and be loved is the most extreme happiness of all.

Alam ko, unti-unti ka na rin nakaka-recover sa lahat-lahat. Isa pa, malapit na ang pasukan. You should be happy. Dahil magkaka-pera ka na ulit! At makikita mo na ~~siya~~.

You've changed a lot... and I'm very happy in that changes...

'Til next letter ulit. I've ran out of what to say to you.

P.S. How's your writing going by the way? Sana makapag-sulat ka na ulit. Whatever that's troubling you, kung meron man, I hope you overcome it.

Until then,
Self.

New Layout. Finally.

2009-04-16T15:31:00.006+08:00

[Now Playing: Gather Roses]
[by: ScreW]
[Mood: hungry]

Whew!
Finally, I'm done with fixing my blog layout.
Yep. As you can see, it's Ruki from the band, the GazettE. His outfit in Taion is one of my favourites. But the Mad Hatter's costume in Cockroach was the best for me.

Other than that, today's the welcome party of my mom's boyfriend. He came here last tuesday and now, we're celebrating his arrival later after working hours. J, (shall be named this way for privacy, haha) came from U.K. and they met in a social networking site that I won't be mentioning here. They became lovers last year, so it's their first time in meeting in person.

I've met J a couple of times before in the net when I go to mom's office here at the shop. The guy seems nice and his parents like my mom. And I can see how much they love each other (talk about chatting and talking in her laptop almost all day everyday).

He decided to see my mom last January. And now that he's here, mom's with him since he arrived at the airport. Where going to celebrate her birthday in advance because J and my mom will going to Bohol and have a vacation there. So I won't be seeing her when her birthday comes. So, it's kinda like she'll celebrating her birthday with J alone. Or so it seems. Then he'll gonna stay at our house for a couple of days...

To make it short, later tonight, I'm gonna be the one who'll take photos and video of the celebration... Then I have to edit it and give to J as a souvernir before he go back to his country. This was a request from mom.

I can't say that I don't really like the guy, because as I have said, he's a nice guy. I don't know. I'm just somehow annoyed. About what? I don't really know. Maybe it's the fact that a person will be entering our lives...A someone to her and my little brother... but a perfect stranger to me even though I've talked to him for a couple of times.

Oh well, I'm just wishing my mom to find her happiness in J. I just want her to fulfill her dreams and see her smile. So that all of us can move on... especially mom and my little brother...

As for me, I'm moving on in my own way... Haha!

Work, work, work

2009-04-12T19:21:00.007+08:00

[now playing: Thinking of You]
[by: Katy Perry]
[mood: frustrated and slightly annoyed]

Okay, okay.

Hello gents and ladies. Finally I got my butt moving once again to post something on my blog. *breathes heavily*

I'm having my summer job here at my mom's place. Well, I can't really call it a summer job but it kinda matches the idea. Since it's summer here and I'm working at my mom's place or rather, shop.

I'm working as a cashier-slash-saleslady here in her place, but the twist was I can have free all-internet access here at her shop since it has one. Haha! But really now, I'm not the talkative I-convince-you-buy kind of person so I mostly stay beside the table and take in-charge of the money being taken in and out of the cashbox. I'm working for almost two weeks now and I still do not know the pricings of different mobile phones up to their cases and other accessories that a mobile phone has. So yeah, I'm kind of a lazy bum here but heck, I was offered here to work as a cashier only, not a saleslady! *pout*

*sigh*

It's not really bad after all, and I'm trying to work very hard, it's just that, I know this work's really not for me. I don't like staying in a place with crowded people and entertaining people. I know that my course is really attached to people but I'm more the anti-social type. Not really anti-social per se but a crowd more than 15 and I don't know their names, it makes me crazy. The day I'm always looking forward to was the payday. Yeah I know, I'm addicted to green stash. Believe me, it's so sad not having enough money. Now I know how hard it is to earn it.

Anyways, I can still have fun in my work you know, since I have the internet access all by myself, I can do whatever I want. It's been a while since I've visited sites that I joined long ago, now, I can stay as long as I want in front of my laptop (as long as there's no customer).

Recently, I've been starting to write some short fics once again. It's mixed in Filipino and English. I'm also writing an English story, but I think it will take me some time to finish it. Good luck, me! Give it all you got!

As we speak, I'm writing my second story today. I'm doubting if I can post it here, since I'm intending to make 3 stories today and give it to someone... So maybe I'll just make another one and post it here, since I said last time that I'll be posting stories here. I'm still not done on my second one and I'm just taking a little break since when I start to write my thoughts, mom would always knock at the wall calling me to attend some errands for her. I took this opportunity to let it out here since I'm not sure if I can gather that "drive" again to continue writing it any minute now.

Whew! That's kind of a long post. (I hope it is long...)

Oh, and I'm starting to read mangas once again. Just sharing a little fact. *laughs*

See you again!

=Chiharu=

S is for SUMMER!

2009-03-21T20:10:00.000+08:00

[Now Playing: Galileo]
[by:LM.C]

[mood: energetic]

Woohoo!!! Hello, summer!!!

Heat.

Sweat.

And more heat!

At last, summer's around and everyone's feeling it. Whether its a good or a bad thing, I don't know. What I know is that school's finally over and I can have fun, fun, F-U-N! Woohoo!!!

On the other hand, I think I shouldn't be celebrating to much, I should be worried instead. Our class card will be released on the 24th of the month. I wonder if I'll pass all of the subjects. I hope I'll pass. It's okay if the grades aren't high. As long as I don't have a failed subject, it's okay. I really hope I'll pass all of them. *prays*

And speaking of summer, me and my friends will be having our swimming next week! Woohoo! I'm looking forward in taking a splash in blue waters! I still can't have enough even though I almost drowned last summer. Oh well, it's because of my stupidity why that incident happened anyway. *laughs*

How about you guys, are you looking forward in your summer too? I hope you do. Enjoy the vacation!!!

Deadlines

2009-01-29T19:37:00.004+08:00

[Listening to: That's When I'll Stop Loving You]
[by: N'Sync]
[mood: hurry]

Gaaaah!!!!!

I'm so behind my deadline here!

I said I'll be posting you about what happened on my birthday but 2009 came and I haven't updated my blog. Tsk. I hate my hectic sked. >_<

Well, I'm not really sure if I can still recall the scenario of what happened last December... I think I'll just give the highlights of it... XD

My day began when at the strike of 12, I received tons of texts saying their greetings for the girl who became a lady that day (or rather, midnight). Then when I woke up at 6 a.m. in the morning, two of my aunts came at the apartment telling me that they will be the ones who will be preparing the foods for the nights celebration.

When I went to school, I was greeted by my beloved friends, and received a gift from one of them. After our first two classes, we proceeded to a nearby studio and had our picture taken. It's one of the best memory I gained that day.

After the shoot, I went to MOA to meet my other friends for an event was being held for these friends of mine. I also saw that person who made me cry a river for almost 2 months. Finally, we reconciled once more. Another happy memory! XD

I said goodbyes with them, and one of my friends who went to the venue of the EB (my classmate and friend), we went to Cubao and waited for my two friends, who decided to have a sleep over in our apartment. They bought a cherry-chocolate cake for me! (I don't know the flavor, really) XD

We went home at almost 8 p.m that night, not knowing a surprise plan of my mom and my friends.

I was actually cleaning my room to have some more space for my friends' bags when I saw people holding lighted candles. I actually thought there was a crusade going on and decided to continue what I was doing so that I can get a shower that my body needed. I was surprised when my mom called me, holding a box of cake in her hands (with candles on it) and one by one, the guys from my mom's employees went out and gave me white roses! 18 white roses to be exact. While the females were holding lighted candles. They were singing "Happy Birthday" to me while my friends were recording the video of it! I was punk'd! XD I almost cried at it. I really felt I was so loved that day.

It was my first time to drink. My friends and I drank a bottle of vodka. Well, because I'm legal now, I can drink! Yehey!!! XD

Whew! So much for an overview of my last year's birthday celebration. It may be simple, but I still can remember that special day. I never really thought that my birthday will be that special... But why think of that now? I really enjoyed that night with my friends and family. I'm happy I have them. ^_^

Everyone... meet "Vyl"...or "Vylri" for long

2008-12-14T18:40:00.008+08:00

[now listening: Blue Star by Vidoll]
[mood: haggardness]

Hello once again minna-san!!! I'm here to announce that I'm 18 now!! Woot!! *dances*

Well, not today but last December 6, 2008. Also I've received my long-awaited gift from my mom.... Yatta! XD

Without further ado, I'm here to introduce to you the one whom I want to be with forever... *laughs*

This is Vylri...or simply known as Vyl. I received him last December 5, 2008. A day before my birthday ^_^ He's a Canon DSLR 450D or also known as Canon XSi Rebel.

I still haven't explored Vyl that much for I'm still busy with school stuffs. But I hope to get along with my camera this Christmas vacation. With him by my side, I don't think I'll be spending my Christmas like I used to before...The staying-at-home-until-Christmas-comes-along days... Seeing Vyl lying like that on my bed makes me want to grab him and take him somewhere to take pictures!!! More and more pictures!!!! XD

Why Vylri?

I was having a hard time thinking of a name for my DSLR, I was chatting with my precious friend back then and my first option was to name him "Haruka" since I also love that name and it's a part of my name (cyber), Chiharu (well, it's a actually a mixture of my two favorite names. Kinda).

Then, as we were laughing because of our conversation that time. Something popped out in my head. Virill. I was about to use that but it sound like Kirill of D.O.D so I didn't use that.

And a few moments later... with me jumbling Virill's name in order to produce something... Vylri came up. And then, the rest is history.

Reason?

Well, If you'll pronounce Vyl's name backwards, it'll sound as Reveal right?
I dunno if this is a good reason but I want my Vyl to be an instrument in revealing one's inner personality or emotion.... Well, just kidding... but I want to be like that... XD

Many of you (well, I hope) would might want to know what happened exactly on my birthday. I'll be back again to tell you how exciting and surprising my birthday was December 6 after I'm done with my school stuffs. That's a deal. ^_^

I have to say goodbye for now. I'll be back for the my birthday story. Ja!

I'm back!!! (Lipad, Butterfly, Fly award acceptance XD)

2008-12-03T20:36:00.005+08:00

[now viewing: Shadow VI II I]
[mood: happy]

Whew! Hello blog!! I'm back! Welcome home myself! *laughs*

Now, I went too far... *laughs*

Hmm~~

How's the life?

I got busy for the last months that I forgot to go to my blog and do some blogging stuff. I'm still a little busy but I'll try to blog as much as I can now. So, good luck me!!! XD

I'm going to post some stuffs here so that I can have many posts here in my blog. ^_^

And for the current news:

Once this award is accepted, the rules are as follow:
1. Put the logo on your blog.
2. Add a link to the person who awarded you.
3. Nominate 10 other blogs.
4. Add links to those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message for your nominees on their blogs.

Acceptance Speech
I would like to thank Chi-sama for giving me this award. Whoah! I can't believe that I will be awarded like this. And I will try my best to uhm.... fulfill the certain churvas of eklavus... *laughs*

And I nominate these blogs:

Sorah Winson|PPG+1

I'm still open for other blogs to award... XD

2008-07-21T21:05:00.003+08:00

[Now Listening: Prisoner of Love - Utada Hikaru]
[mood: ...]

Well... I am supposed to be working on my take home exam in Comm 100. But I don't have the energy to read (as well as to look on my questionnaire and the articles needed to be read) and answer those brain-melting questions. To think that this take home exam is my prelims exam for the said subject. *laughs*

I find myself pretty odd lately especially today.

When I woke up in the sound of my alarm clock, my mind just spoke to me. I almost said it loudly. It was like my mind made a decision or just said something due to sudden brain activity (I have no idea what I am talking about). My mind just spoke the words... "I don't want to socialize anymore. I don't want to talk to people anymore."

Well, I know that what I said was insane and totally absurd. But I really do feel that I'm tired of talking to other people.

Maybe someone who's concerned might ask... Why is that so?

The answer to that question is I don't know... *laugh*

I just know one thing right now...

I'm missing my friend right now. And it hurts like hell whenever I see her messages for everyone but my name's not included there.

And I think I should just quit... well, quietly so that other people won't notice that I'm gone in the group.

That group meant everything for me from the start. It's the place where I met my friend and my buddies. It's the place where I belong ever since my hardships started. It's my paradise...

But then, as times passes, things began to change. And I didn't notice that those changes happened to us too.

The time we usually spend together before, was started to be snatched away from us... Making us too busy with our own businesses that we didn't have time to talk or either to text each other anymore...

In short, our bonding time had cut short...

Maybe to other people, it's not normal for a certain friend to act like this. But... I am missing her. What can I do??

She's like a sister to me... much more a twin...

If you're reading this right now...

I miss you...

Hey Mr. Business Suit

2008-07-01T03:46:00.007+08:00

Title: Hey Mr. Business Suit

Nakatunganga lang ako sa aking upuan habang nagtuturo ang aking prof sa Political Science. Bored na bored kasi ako at inaantok na rin dahil sa sobrang pagpupuyat ko kagabi para matapos lang ang aking assignment sa Literature. Pasaway kasing 30 keywords with vocabulary sa "Summer Solstice" na yan.

"Ms. Ynoviel?"

Napabalikwas ako ng bigla akong tinawag ni prof. "Ma'am?"

"Give me one type of goverment and explain," wika nito. Shootness! Mukhang nahalata yata nito na hindi ako nakikinig sa kanya kanina pa. Badtrip!

"Err..."

"You've been dozing off in my subject, Ms. Ynoviel. Akala mo ba papasa ka na ng ganyan?!"

"Eh, kasi Ma'am..." sasagutin ko na sana si Ma'am ng biglang may kumatok sa pintuan. Hinintay naming buksan nito ang pinto pero patuloy lang ito sa pagkatok.

"Why can't he open the door? Wala ba siyang mga kamay?" pagtataray na naman nito. Pagkatapos ay binuksan nito ang pintuan at lumabas. Kawawa naman ang taong nasa labas. Malalasap nito ang apoy ni Ma'am. Sa sobrang katarayan n'on, kahit mga lalaki, ilag sa kanya.

Kaya laking gulat ko ng biglang pumasok si Ma'am na nakangiti! At may dala itong bouquet of flowers! May manliligaw na si Ma'am?! Aba! Big news iyon!

Hinarap ako ni Ma'am, "Sige, Ms. Ynoviel, I'll forgive you for now." Nang uupo na siya'y nagsalitang muli. "Anong ginagawa mo?"

"Ma'am?" uupo na po siyempre, nasabi ko sa isip ko.

"May naghahanap sa'yo sa labas. Go ahead, mukhang importante ang sasabihin nya sa'yo," paliwanag ni Ma'am sa akin.

Nagtaka ako, sino kaya iyon? Imposibleng si Mama iyon dahil nasa Hong Kong siya at si Papa naman ay inaasikaso ang kanyang negosyo sa Roxas.

Kahit naguguluhan pa rin ako ay sinimulan kong maglakad palabas ng pinto nang muli akong tinawag ng aking prof.

"Tell that person, 'Thank you for the flowers'." nakangiting sabi nito sa akin.

Piping napatango lang ako. Bakit parang sobrang aliw na aliw yata si Ma'am sa akin? Kilala ko ba ang nagbigay ng flowers? This day is way too unusual. Ito ba ang epekto ng walang tulog?

Nang lumabas ako ng room namin, wala naman akong nadatnan ni anino ni Spiderman doon. 'Di kaya pinag-ti-trip-an lang ako ni Ma'am?

Pabalik na sana ako ng room ng biglang mag-vibrate ang cellphone ko, tanda ng may nagtext sa akin. Binasa ko iyon.

"R U THERE?"

Galing iyon sa kaibigan kong si Eri. Nagreply ako agad.

"O2 MARE, ANYTHING WRONG?"

Hindi na ito nagreply. Naisip ko na baka wala na itong load o kaya naman ay busy na. Ganoon naman iyon kapag matagal bago magreply. Masyado pa namang hectic ang schedule ng isang iyon. Parang presidente ng Pilipinas.

"Finally, you came out." wika ng isang baritonong boses galing sa bandang lilkuran ko.

Nilingon ko ang nagsalita. There is a guy leaning on the railings. He is wearing... a business suit? Is he a member of the school's Board of Trustees? If so, bakit naman ito nandito? Teka lang...

"Ako ba ang kausap mo?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Who else? Have you seen anyone lurking around here aside from you and me?" sagot niya na para bang napakatangang tanong iyon.

Napamaang ako. Aba't ang kapal ng lalaking ito!

"Do I know you?" balik-tanong ko sa kanya. Akala nya siya lang marunong mag-English? Hah! Kahit mas matanda pa siya sa akin, hindi ko siya sasantuhin! Ayaw na ayaw ko pa naman ang ginagawa akong engot!

Nagkibit-balikat lang ito. Maya-maya ay may kinuha ito sa tabi. He is now holding on to what I assume as hundreds of bond paper that was compiled and placed neatly in a folder. Pagkatapos ay naglakad ito papunta sa aking direksiyon.

As he began to approach me, mas lalo kong nabigyang-pansin ang hitsura niya. He has a set of thick eyebrows and long eyelashes that matches his fair complexion. Kitang-kita ang itim niyang mga pilik mata pati na rin ang perfectly-shaped nose niya. Add to that is his almond-shaped dark brown eyes that reminded me of a certain brand of dark chocolate.

Hindi kaila sa hitsura niya na mayroon siyang dugong-Intsik. Still, iba pa rin ang tingin ko sa kanya. 'Di kaya nagparetoke ito kay Calayan? Napaka-gwapo kasi ng lalaking nasa harap ko para maging totoo.

No, everything looks original. Natural na siguro ang ka-gwapuhan niya.

"Satisfied? Why not take a picture, it'll last longer?" tanong nito. Di ko napansin na nasa harap ko na pala siya! Huling-huli tuloy ang pag-aasess ko sa kanya. Naman!

Nagkibit-balikat na lang siya kasabay ng paglagay sa aking mga kamay ng makapal na folder na hawak niya. Anong kala niya sa akin? Personal secretary niya?

"Aanhin ko ito?" maang kong tanong sa kanya. Bakit ba puro kibit-balikat lang ang ginagawa nito? Ni hindi pa nga niya nasasagot ang tanong ko kanina!

"Read it. Burn it. Do whatever you want," ani nito.

Akmang tatalikod na siya ng tinawag kong muli ang lalaki. "Hoy peste! E-este mama!"

Nang lumingon siya sa akin ay naramdaman kong biglang nagbago ang mood niya. Kung serious ito kanina, mas lalong dead serious na ito. Aba! Hindi niya ako matatakot ng tingin niyang parang kakain ng tao! Ako lang ang may karapatang mangain sa aming dalawa!

"What?" nakataas-kilay nitong tanong. Halatang nainis ko ito ng kaunti.

Nilapitan ko siya at naisipang hampasin ng makapal na folder, kaso iba ang ginawa ko. Dinuro ko ang matipuno niyang dibdib. "Ikaw, kanina ka pa ha! Tinatanong ka ng maayos, di ka sumasagot ng mationo! And to think that you're older than me, mister!"

"Anong mis—"

"Secondly," pag-eeksena ko. "Anong gagawin ko sa makapal na folder na ito? Pwede ba, 'di mo ako personal secretary para tambakan mo ako ng makapal na folder na ito na ang hula ko ay puro mga documents mo lang ang laman. Hindi rin ako charity institution para bigyan ng files na walang silbi sa'yo para gawin kong scratch papers sa Math!"

Pagkagulat ang sumunod na nakita ko sa mukha niya. "Teka, hindi 'yan—"

"Thirdly," Teka, may gan'on bang term? "Hindi pa tapos ang paglilitanya ko sa'yo kaya makinig ka lang diyan! Sino ka ba sa akala mo? Kahit isa ka pa sa mga Board of Trustees dito sa school, anak ng may-ari ng SM o nabiyudong si Sergio Santibañez sa Marimar, 'di mo tauhan ang lahat ng makikita mong tao rito!

" May reliance dito, professors, college deans, at security guards. At higit sa lahat, may mga estudyante rin dito na gaya ko! Naiintindihan mo ba 'yon? Estudyante ako at hindi personal secretary mo! Kaya bumalik ka na sa kompanyang pinanggalingan mo at hanapin mo ro'n si Armida Siguion-Reyna!" Pagkatapos ay ihinampas ko sa kanya ang folder na ibinigay niya sa akin.
Nang marinig ko siyang napasinghap, bigla akong inungot ng konsensiya sa ginawa kong pagpalo sa kanya. At bakit nasali si Armida Siguion-Reyna sa mga sinabi ko? Aning na nga yata ako.

"A-ano, mister, ok ka lang ba? 'Kaw naman kasi eh. Ayaw mo akong kausapin ng matino. Ano masakit sa'yo?" Nang di pa rin ito nagsasalita at biglang na lang napayuko, mas lalo akong nag-alala. "Mister, mister! Buhay ka pa ba? Humihinga ka pa ba? Hoy!"

Pakiramdam ko ay nakarinig ako ng church bells ng marinig ko ang matunog na halakhak niya. Lahat yata ng galit ko sa sangkatauhan ay naglaho at parang gusto kong humingi ng world peace.

"I can't believe I'm actually laughing after I got smacked by a very thick folder." Tumayo siya ng tuwid at humarap sa akin. His face seems to have changed. Parang umaliwalas ang kanyang mukha. "You really are one interesting person. Tama nga ang sinabi niya sa akin."
Ha? Niya? Sinong niya ang tinutukoy ng mister na ito?

"And I actually laughed on something really stupid." Ngumiti siya. "By the way, natanggap ba ng prof mo ang flowers?"

"Ikaw ang nagbigay n'on?" Tumango siya. "Thank you raw sabi ni Ma'am."

"No worries."

"Teka, e 'di ibig sabihin, kilala mo ako!"

"Sort of." Tanging sagot nito.

"Anong sort of? Bakit 'di kita kilala?!" bigla akong napaisip. "Siguro, stalker kita!"

"Would a stalker dress like this?"

Tiningnan ko ang damit niya. Oo nga. May point siya. May stalker bang nakasuot ng business suit? Napaka-weird naman yatang stalker iyon.

"I really must be going now." wika niya habang nakatingin sa kanyang relong-pambisig. "It was nice meeting you. Take care of that folder." pagkatapos ay umalis na siya.

Nakakaasar ang lalaking iyon! Nakakapikon! Sa sobrang pagka-asar ko, itinext ko kay Eri ang nangyari.

NKA2ASAR ANG LA2KING ION! AKALA MO KUNG CNO! ASAR TLGA!! BDING XA ERI, BDING!

Sa 'di kalayuan ay nakarinig ako ng message tone matapos kong i-send ang text ko kay Eri. Naisip kong coincidence lang ang nangyari kaya --

Biglang nag-ring ang aking cellphone. Numero ni Eri iyon. Ilang ring pa bago ko iyon sinagot. "Hello?"

"Who says I'm gay?" anang baritonong boses sa kabilang linya.

"Ha?" napatingin akong muli sa aking cellphone. Number talaga ni Eri ang nasa screen. Bigla akong kinabahan. "Sino 'to?! Bakit nasa iyo ang phone ng kaibigan ko?"

Narinig kong nag-echo ang mga sinabi ko. Nang lumingon ako sa pinanggalingan ng echo, nakita ko si Mr. Business Suit na may hawak na cellphone at nakatingin sa akin. Nagsimula siyang maglakad matapos niyang patayin ang cellphone niya at ilagay sa kanyang bulsa. Pagtingin ko sa aking cellphone ay namatay rin ang tawag ni Eri.

Hala! Anong nangyayari?! Ibig sabihin, ito ang may hawak ng cellphone ni Eri?! Alam ko kung sino tao ang maaaring humiram ng cellphone niya! Iyon ay ang...

"Ngayon, ipapakita ko sa'yo that I'm not a member of the federation." madilim ang mukha niyang nakaharap sa akin.

"Te-teka lang --"

Hindi ko na naituloy ang nais kong sabihin ng bigla niyang hinapit ang aking baywang at biglang siniilan ng halik... hala po! Hinalikan niya ako!!

"Now that I've proved that to you," wika niya. "Baka pwede na akong umalis." may bakas ng amusement sa mga mata nito.

"Ah..." shucks! Wala akong masabi! Hinalikan niya ako!

"Late na talaga ako for my meeting. At idinaan ko lang naman ang folder na iyan dahil sabi ni Eri, matagal mo nang gustong mabasa 'yan. I wonder why. Is it because tayong dalawa ang bida diyan sa book na sinulat ng kapatid ko? Or is it because of me?" Marahil ay kitang-kita niya ang pamumula ng mga pisngi ko.

Ang hayup! Speechless ako! Wala akong masabi! Gusto kong magtago sa Mindanao sa sobrang hiya!

Narinig kong tumunog ang cellphone niya sa kanyang bulsa. "That must be my personal secretary at the company." Ngumiti siya sa akin na mukhang hindi na niya nakaya pang itago. "In case you've forgotten who I am, magpapakilala na ako para maalala mo na ako. I'm Eri's older brother, Jake N. Iltengo. Nice meeting you again.

Mischief and amusement were written all over his handsome face. "Oh, don't worry about me being your first kiss and how you did it as your first time. Pwede nating i-practice iyon some other time. Bye." nakaplaster ang ngiti niya habang naglalakad siya paalis sa harap ko.

Pakiramdam ko ay parang naging gulaman sa lambot ang mga tuhod ko kaya umupo ako. Hindi ako makapaniwalang hinalikan niya ako. Ang madalas naming pag-usapan ni Eri, na ang tawag ko ay Jaken dahil naaalala ko ang alaga ni Sesshoumaru sa anime na 'Inuyasha' sa pangalan niya na siyang i-mina-matchmake niya sa akin...ang first kiss ko.

Sinampal ko ang sarili ko. "Ano ka ba Cali. Panaginip lang iyon. Natutulog ka lang. Hindi totoo ang mga nangyari. Walang halikang naganap. Wala. Wala..."

Naramdaman kong nag-vibrate muli ang cellphone ko, may tumatawag. Hindi naka-rehistro ang numero sa aking cellphone pero sinagot ko pa rin iyon.

"Hello, mare, si Eri 'to. Itong bagong number ni kuya ang gamit ko, na-block kasi iyong dating sim niya. Nga pala, nagkita na ba kayo ni kuya? Pinapunta ko kasi diyan sa school mo para matapos mo nang basahin ang nobela kong iyon. At siyempre para magkakilala na rin kayo ng maayos. Gamit nga pala niya ang cellphone ko ngayon, mare. Nakalimutan ko nga palang sabihin na 'wag mong aasaring bading iyon kapag nagkita kayo. Hindi magdadalawang-isip na halikan ka n'on. Adik iyon eh."

Narinig kong may matandang lalaki na nagsalita sa kabilang linya. "O sige, mare. Text na lang kita mamaya. May pupuntahan kami ni Papa eh. 'Wag kang masyadong manahimik diyan. Baka isipin kong nagkita na kayo ni kuya at nahalikan ka niya ng 'di oras o nasa kumbento ka na at nagpapaka-madre. On second thought, I like the first option more. Sige mare, mwah!" at ibinaba na nito ang linya.

Sa lahat ng sinabi sa akin ni Eri, wala akong naintindihan maliban sa isa. Iyon ay hinalikan ako ni "Jaken" Iltengco. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Siya nga talaga ang first kiss ko!!

******
Itong kwento ay hindi spontaneous. Matagal ko na siyang nagawa... Ngayon ko lang naisipang ilagay... Kung magiging short story lang siya o lalagyan ko ng chapters... Iyon ay akin pang pag-iisipan...

Sino sila? Hm... Secret... *laugh*

*edited*

Whew! Thanks sa isang friend na nag-korek sa akin, bawal nga pala iyon.. hehehe XD

*edited ulit*

To my proofreader: Thanks a lot ^^ eto, tinatamad na akong palitan iyong sa sim eh... next time na lang. :)) Thanks ulit ^^

Toblerone

2008-06-17T19:58:00.009+08:00

Title: Toblerone

Tahimik na pumasok si Rei sa kanilang classroom na siyang ikinagulat ng kakambal kuno niyang si Chiharu pati na rin nga kanilang mga classmates. Kilala kasi silang dalawa bilang deadly duo pagdating sa sakit ng ulo at kakulitan. Kaya tinanong siya nito nang umupo siya sa upuan malapit sa tabi nito.

"Anong nangyari sa'yo at parang ipinama sa iyo ni Atlas ang pagpasan sa mundo?" ani Chiharu.

Iling lang ang isinagot niya.

"May umaway ba sa'yo? Nadukutan ka ba? Naiwan mo ang cellphone mo sa bahay niyo?" patuloy pa rin ang pag-iling niya sa mga sinasabi nito.

"Teka, 'wag mong sabihing na-rape ka?!" suminghap ito ng hinataw niya ang kaibigan ng makapal na psychology book nila. "Aray! Grabe ka mare. Bago ako maka-graduate, durog na mga buto ko sa'yo!" hinimas-himas nito ang nasaktang braso. "So, sino nang-rape sa'yo? Si Marky the Menace ba?" sa sinabi nitong iyon nakatikim ulit ito ng palo galing sa ever-trusted psychology book niya. "Aray, mare! Sobra ka na ha!"

Tiningnan lang niya ito, kasabay nito ang dahan-dahang pamamasa ng mga mata niya.

"M-mare, hoy! Biro lang 'yon ano ka ba. 'Wag ka nang umiyak. Hindi na menace si Marky, isa na siyang super god....dess..." nagsimula nang mag-unahan ang mga luha niya sa kanyang mukha. "O, siya siya... Hindi na siya goddess.. god na siya.. god. Tumigil ka lang sa pag-iyak, Rei! Kinakabahan ako sa nangyayari sa iyo!"

"Hala ka chiharu, anong ginawa mo diyan sa kakambal mo?" tanong ng isa nilang classmate. Dahil kilala sila bilang deadly duo, kambal na ang tingin ng mga ito sa kanila. dahil bukod sa sila ang partners-in-crime sa mga kalokohan sa classroom, madalas sinasabi ng mga kaklase nila na magkahawig daw sila sa hitsura.

"W-wala akong ginawa ano! 'Wag niyo nga akong takutin!!" lumingon si Chiharu sa kanya. "Mare, ano ba talaga ang nangyayari sa'yo?"

"...haru.." mahinang usal ni Rei.

"Ano?"

Itinuro niya ang kanang pisngi niya, ngayon lang yata nito napansin na bahagyang namamaga ang parteng iyon ng kanyang mukha.

"Masakit.... ang ngipin mo?" kunot-noong tanong nito. Tumango siya. "Bakit? Ano bang ginawa mo't sumakit iyang nanahimik mong ngipin?"

"Kinain niya kasi ang toblerone ko." ani isang pamilyar na boses.

"Toblerone mo, Marky the Menace?" wika ng kanyang kaibigan. Binigyan ni Marky ng masamang tingin si Chiharu ngunit hindi nito pinansin ang ginawa ng una. "Nakangteteng, bakit kasi may dala kang toblerone?! Alam mo namang may pagkamatakaw iyang kakambal ko eh!"

"Malay ko bang kakainin niya iyon ng 'di ko namamalayan? Daig pa nga niya si The Flash kung maubos iyong toblerone ko eh!"

"Susme! Kaya naman pala nanakit iyang ngipin mo dahil sa tindi ng katakawan mo eh! Tingnan mo ngayon, kamukha mo na si Porky the Pig. Oink! Oink!"

Akmang hahampasin niya ulit ang kaibigan ng nakaramdam siya ulit ng matinding pananakit sa kanyang ngipin.

"Naku! Dapat ng matingnan ni Dra. Army yan! Marky, dalhin mo na si Rei sa clinic."

"Bakit ako?" kunot-noong tanong nito kay Chiharu.

"Hindi ba't ikaw ang nagdala ng toblerone? Kasalanan mo yan! Do your responsibility! Panagutan mo siya sa ginawa mong kaha--" hinila ni Rei ang buhok nito. "Aray naman Rei! Ito na nga't tinutulungan ka na eh! O bilis na, Marky. Kiss the bride... este bring her to the clinic na. Go!"

"Tsk. Fine!" mayamaya ay dahan-dahan siyang inalalayan habang naglalakad sila papuntang clinic.

"You know... if you want my toblerone, you can just tell me. Hindi naman kita pagdadamutan... It was really intended for you actually..."

Namula siya sa sinabi nito.

*********

Yay! Dahil walang magawa, ginawa ko itong kwento na ito. Actually, wala lang siya.... walang matinong plot at napaka.... wala lang. XD Pero this story.... kung matatawag ngang story ito, ay dedicated para sa aking friend na si Rei ^.^

A Make - Believe..... And life continues...

2008-05-28T04:25:00.006+08:00

Title: A Make-Believe

He spoke of farewell and I could do nothing but listen. Only to listen as he delivered the lines that I usually hear on soap operas, drama shows, and such...

Those familiar lines of "I don't love you anymore.."

I feel numb as those words started to sink inside my mind like a worm, digging deeper and deeper. I knew in myself that this will come. I knew it. But I said to myself that you won't hurt me, that you won't kill my heart.

But you actually did.

And it is my fault.

My fault.

...For believing you in the first place. For being blind by your lies, by your flowery words, by your passionate kisses.

For letting you enter my well-protected heart.

For believing that true love exist. That a happy ending lasts forever.

For thinking that you are love. That you are my happy ending.

But they are all lies. All make-believe. A pretense. A hallucination.

And now, you say those words...

"I don't love you anymore..."

I started to watch your back as you leave. Leaving all of the make-believe stories and memories... Getting shattered one by one as you step away from me, never turning your back...

It was over.

It was definitely over.

And I won't cry for it. For it was my fault for loving you...

That I deserve to be punished....

********

Hmmm... I think I'll try to post some spontaneous stories here... Not just rants...
As my school year fast approaching, I hope I could make stories once more... Not just in Filipino, but in English as well. I want to improve my grammar skills and be detailed in what I'm writing..

So I think, this will be a start... >_<

Me and the things around me.

2008-05-16T03:20:00.003+08:00

[mood: ...]
[listening to: Miseinen by The GazettE]

3:38 A.M.

*kamot ulo*
Yeah... I know...
Bakit nga ba ako nagpopost kada madaling-araw? I don't know the reason myself. I just want to type right now... and type... and type... and continue to type until I'm satisfied. Bakit ba, pakialam niyo? Hindi niyo naman blog ito. Akin 'to kaya akin ang lahat ng karapatan kung anong oras at kelan ako pwedeng mag-post...

*sigh*

Nauubusan na ako ng pwedeng gawin 'wag lang mag-isip. Or rather, hindi ko na talaga mapigilan ang isip ko na mag-isip. I don't know if I'm still thinking right now or not... One thing's certain. I'm not feeling well... My heart is aching...

It sounds mushy yes. So? Bakit, alam niyo ba ang nararamdaman ko ngayon?? Hindi!! Ambigat ng pakiramdam ko. I feel like I've been skewered like a boar by a very strong bamboo pole in my chest where my heart lies. At habang nagtatype ako, patuloy na nananakit ang puso ko. Iyon feeling ng sobrang bigat andito pa rin sa puso ko. And whether putting something here in my blog or not would help me this aching feeling.. I don't know.

I want to cry right now...

And I don't fucking know why I want to cry... I know it's not because of my near death experience earlier at Splash Island (I drowned)... I know it's more heavier than that...

I've been suppressing my tears, I don't know why. Am I too fed up?? 'Di ko na ba talaga kaya??
Am I going to burst any moment now?? I don't know... I don't know anymore!!!!

I want to shout. I want to run. I want to go somewhere. A place where I could be free. A place where I could allow myself to be me... To let my tears run freely in my face... I want to let it all out...

It's choking the hell out of me... I don't know what to do anymore...

Minsan, gusto ko nang sabihin sa sarili ko na sana... sana... sana lang talaga... maaksidente ako at mabagok ang ulo. Magka-amnesia or mawalan ng emosyon. Para hindi ako ganito. Ang hirap talaga.

Gusto kong umalis sa bahay. Kaso hindi ko magawa. I can't do it because of her. Because of them. In the end, wala, ganito pa rin ang estado ng pag-iisip ko. Mahal ko kasi sila. That's why I can't express myself to my family the way I am to my friends..

Langya... what will I do...
Ano na ba talaga ang gagawin ko...

I told myself not to mind things... but I really can't.... really can't...

Gusto kong magsalita, gusto kong magalit... But I really can't let it all out...
It's screaming but only I could hear it..

My system's overloading.....

BOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!

.........

Fed Up? Yeah... I think I am...

2008-04-24T01:35:00.005+08:00

[Listening to: Zakurogata no Yuutsu by The GazettE]
[Mood: pissed...]

Hmm... anong oras na ba? It's 2:15 in the morning and yet I'm still awake. Ilang oras pa bago mag-6 a.m. I'm thinking of what to do. Nang bigla kong maalala ang usapan namin ng friend ko sa YM.

She asked me what's wrong, because she read my stat na tungkol sa unknown emotions na naman.. And I said the usual word whenever someone asks me what's wrong... "Wala naman..."

And because of that I began to wonder, kaya nakikita ninyo ngayon na may post na ulit ang blog na ito na wala namang kwenta pero mabuti na ang may pinaglalabasan kaysa naman maburyong ang isipan ko at gawing pagkain ng mga bacteria na tinatawag na subconscious at dumagdag na naman sa organ sa katawan na tinatawag na "puso" at "utak". Kungsabagay, dumagdag na nga siya. No need to say it.

Ano bang mga ginawa ko nitong March and Early April? Hmm... Marami. But let's not elaborate on that. Umpisahan natin ang magulong laro ng pangakong pinako at ang bakasyong matrabaho...

Story 1: Let's make a deal: Pangakong aking tutuparin, in your dreams!!

Hay... Ang sarap pakinggan ng mga taong pinagkakatiwalaan mo, na mangangako ng kaligayahan mo. Na ibibigay ang lahat ng gusto mo para lang sumaya. Pero, sa likod ng mga letseng pangako na yan. Di mo alam, di pala nila kayang ibigay ang mga pangakong iyon sa'yo. Ginagawa ka lang tanga... Pinapaasa ka pa!! Isipin mo na lang na para kang nabuntis ng ilang beses... tapos nilaglag din ang dinadala mo ng ilang beses.. Huwaw!! Sakit sa pakiramdam di ba?!

Bakit ba ang galing mangako ng tao? Mangangako pero hindi naman kayang tuparin!! Mga sinungaling!! Mang-aasa!!! Bakit nga ba ako naaasar sa mga taong nangangako na lagi namang napapako?? Ah, oo nga pala, kasi siyempre, naranasan ko na iyon. Maraming beses na.. Pero marami akong pangakong di malilimutan... Lalo na ang 2 sa mga iyon...

The bakasyon issue:

If you're already fed up with what's going on around you, or if you couldn't move on because of some things that's been bugging you? What would you do? You'll take a vacation right?

Masyado nang puno ang salop ko, at nangangailangan ako ng mahabang bakasyon. Kinausap ko "siya" na magbabakasyon ako sa lugar na malayo, na sa lugar na di niya ako mamamanmanan at iyong pwede akong maglabas ng mga bagay na matagal ko nang dapat inilabas. Na kasama ang iisang kaibigan na siyang nakatira doon sa lugar na aking pupuntahan. In short, doon ako magbabakasyon, sa bahay ng aking kaibigan. Pumayag "siya" noon bago siya umalis papuntang Hong Kong. Isang matinong kasunduan. Na plano palang huwag tuparin.

Humingi pa "siya" ng isang kondisyon, kausapin ko daw si "hari" at kung papayagan ako ni "hari" ay papayag na rin siya. Dahil gustung-gusto kong mag-bakasyon, pumayag ako sa kagustuhan ni "siya". Kinagabihan no'n, tinext ko si "hari" patungkol sa plano ko.

Madaling araw na ng tumawag si "hari". At umiyak ako dahil hindi siya pumayag. Pero ng ipinaliwanag ko sa kanya ang rason ko (hindi lahat ay sinabi ko... ayokong malaman niya lahat), pumayag naman siya. Siyempre, natuwa ako. Pero panandaliang kaligayahan lang pala iyon... Iyon pala, ay may kondisyon pa si "siya" bukod doon. Kailangan kong isama si "36-yr-old guy"

ANAK NG TETENG!!! Akala ko nagkalinawan na kami dati! Na papayag siyang magbakasyon ako ng ako lang!!! Pero isa palang malaking katangahan ang ginawa ko! Akala ko maiintindihan niya ang rason kung bakit ako humihingi ng gano'n!!! Alam kong malayo ang lugar na iyon. Pero hindi naman na ako bata para maging tanga sa bawat lugar na pupuntahan ko!! Hindi naman ako gaya niya na pupunta ng Hong Kong!!! Sa Pinas pa rin ang lugar na pupuntahan ko!!!

Ang resulta: To be continued...

bakit to be continued? Dahil hanggang ngayon, on negotiation pa rin ako kay "siya". Di pa rin ako sumusuko. Dahil kapag sumuko ako at dumating ang June nang hindi pa ako nakakapaglabas ng nararamdaman ko, at nakakapagbakasyon sa malayo at ng hindi niya nakikita... Maapektuhan na naman ang grades ko nito! At alam kong malaki ang posibilidad na magkaganon nga iyon....

Story 2: Job Description: Bakasyon

Saan ka nakakita ng tao na nasa bakasyon na pinilit, at kailangan mong magbantay ng bata? Andito o!

Akala ko ay makakapag-enjoy ako sa pagbabakasyon ko sa lugar ni "hari". Pero siyempre, hanggang akala lang iyon. Hindi lang naman ako ang mag-isang nagbakasyon doon eh. Kasama ko ang "prinsipe".

Hindi naman ako nagrereklamo, nakuha ko ang kahit paano ay katahimikan na kinailangan ko. Kaso, hindi sa lahat ng oras. Dahil nga nagtatrabaho ako. Ano ang trabaho ko? Ang bantayan ang mahal ni "siya" at ni "hari", ang "prinsipe".

Nawalan ako ng ganang lumabas sa bahay ni "hari". Bakit? Wala akong kakilala at binabantayan ko si "prinsipe". Ang swerte niyang bata! Walang ginawa doon ang "prinsipe" kundi makipaglaro sa kanyang mga pinsan. Ako? Wala naman akong ginagawa maliban sa tumunganga sa laptop ko sa pansamantalang kwarto namin habang hinihintay ang paglipas ng araw...

Don't get me wrong, di nga ako nag-enjoy... Mas lalo ring nadagdagan ang hinanakit ko sa buhay... Bakit? Laging wala ang "hari" naiiwan kami sa kanyang mga "magulang". At ang awa na siyang nararamdaman ko sa kanya.

Alam kong hindi ko dapat maramdaman iyon. Pero tao lang din naman ako at mahal ko si "hari". Nasasaktan ako sa kahirapang nakikita ko noong nandon pa kami sa lugar nila. Nilagnat pa nga siya, at hindi ko sinabi iyon kay "siya". Bakit? Hindi ko alam. Siguro dahil ayoko.

Sa totoo lang, minsan, gusto kong parusahan ang sarili ko. Pakiramdam ko ay kasalanan ko ang lahat. Kung kaya ko lang magpakamatay, ginawa ko na. Pero isa rin akong malaking duwag kaya hindi ko magawa.

Wala na akong pagpipilian kundi ang sumang-ayon na magpart-ways na si "siya" at "hari". Pero alam mo. Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin matanggap ang paghihiwalay nila... Andito pa rin ang sakit sa puso ko. Hindi ko na nga alam ang gagawin ko. Ang biglaang pagbabago ni "siya" at ni "hari", ang pagdurusa ni "hari" at kung anu-ano pa.

Minsan, gusto ko nang magsalita kay "siya". Pero alam ko namang hindi niya ako pakikinggan, ano lang ba niya ako, di ba? Kaso, hindi ko na maatim ang pinaggagagawa niya sa sarili niya.

Ngayon biyernes yata ay aalis na naman siya... Maiiwan na naman kami ni "prinsipe". Pupunta siyang Puerto Galera ulit. Mabuti pa siya, may pa-nightlife-nightlife nang nalalaman... Not that I want to have a nightlife too... Gusto ko lang talagang magbakasyon... Gusto kong lumayo muna... Pero tangina!!!! Bakit hindi niya makita iyon?!?!?!! Bakit hindi niya makita ang pagdurusa ko???? Ano pa ba ang gusto niya??? Maglaslas ako ng pulso para payagan lang ako???? Kung pwede lang talaga, matagal ko nang ginawa!!! LETSE!!!

A New Post and the End of the Semester!!

2007-10-05T17:56:00.000+08:00

A New Post and the End of the Semester!!

[mood: dazed]
[listening to: Samson by: Regina Spektor]

Whew!!

At last, I have a new post on my blog. And, the finals of my 1st semester is almost coming!! T.T

I learned new things and lessons this semester at my college life. What's the feeling of entering in the college life? It's soooooooooo hmm... what do you call this.... Ah! It's soooo new to me. Well, the life you live in college is a little "intense" (hmm.. is that the right term?) than in high school.

With the lessons this sem. I think I found myself having so attached in my English subject. My English prof is really great. I learned a lot from her. From the differences of simple tenses up to the progressive. The way how it changes. Up to the kinds of words that you'll have to use on modals and a lot more. I think my english proficiency on grammars increased because of her. Thank you Ma'am P**!! Hope to see you again next sem!!

My other professors at my school are good as well. In economics, we are handled by the chairperson of that field in their faculty. Although, I think, that subject is really not my cup of tea (oh heck, I'm saying something again...), I think I can survive (just hoping I won't get a 3.00 on my classcard. Or else... T.T). In history, our professor made us activities that are suited of our course while we are learning as well... The professors have their own styles on teaching us their own lessons...

Now, how about my blockmates? I think I'll miss them. Especially to some of my friends that I knew at the start of our class. I hope, some of them will be my classmate next sem...

THANK YOU BLOCKMATES!!!

HOPE TO BE YOUR BLOCKMATE AGAIN NEXT SEM ^^

MC0712, rocks!!!!!

The Test are finally over... Thank GOD!!

2006-11-18T16:39:00.000+08:00

The Test are finall over... Thank GOD!!

[mood: ...]

[listening: Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake]

Yay!!! At last!!! The second periodical tests are over!!! Whew!!!!

I thought I'm gonna die while taking those test... It's a super test I tell you....

Well at least it's over now... And now, I'll wait for my results.....

I wish my grades aren't that low.... T.T

Physics Report: A SUCCESS

2006-11-09T20:51:00.000+08:00

Physics Report: A SUCCESS!!!

[mood: haggard but pleased]

[listening to: When I met you]

Yay! My Physics report is now over! Now I don't have to worry anything about the damn Kepler's Law anymore. (Kepler can keep his laws all on himself thank you.) BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Well, I'm kind of happy for my report in Physics was a success. And I explained my report without stuttering and I spoke on English fluently! (Hah! Beat that!) It's a good thing if you have a foreign friend who's also your seatmate.

But he was mean! He asks questions! Hah! I answered his questions! I want to thank him for asking some questions, because it means that someone understood what I'm reporting in front... (Or maybe...) Anyways... I still am happy for it turns out to be okay!!!!

Book and Orangie Stuff... And L!!!

2006-11-06T20:16:00.000+08:00

Book and Orangie Stuff... And L!!!

[mood: hyper!]
[listening to: Hello by Hyde]

Okay!!!! Today's a really really nice day!! :)) Today is our school's bookfair by Scholastic. And to start it, our section presented 2 stories. "The Mouse Wedding", and "The Red Dragon" where my role is to hold a puppet dragon and move it.

Our costumes are a simple, clean, innocent.... PAJAMA!!! Wahahahaha!!! We looked like we're gonna have a slumber party at the school. Well, we did the play or storytelling successfully and everyone is glad. LOL.

Ok, enough about that. XD

My blog is brighty today!!! Wheeeee!!! Maybe that's why I'm glad. LoL. Wait... Isn't that.... Oh my gollie lolit! It's L from Death Note!! Yay!

You know, L is one of my faves in Death Note, he's one of the greatest detective there!! Awesome! Love his looks, weirdness, all of it!! But I still love Joe and Soubi more XD But maybe the points are not far from there... LoL.

What is the real me exactly? A message to you.

2006-10-23T20:02:00.001+08:00

Who is the real me? The one who owns and writes in this blog? What is her personality really? Well.... I don't know *laugh*

I am who I am... that's all I know. I don't like to talk in the morning. My face is always serious at the morning. I get pissed off easily at things. I'm bad if you want to call it 'bad'. Maybe I'm worse! I'm not saying this to pity myself. I told you, it's the real me talking to you. I'm different in each people who knew me. I'm cheerful to other, I'm cold to some. I'm quiet to them, I'm bubbly to others! Oh my! I just realized this when I'm alone in my room (c*****) sorry I don't want to tell that story. Maybe in the future ^.^

To those others I'm sorry. That's who I am. You can't blame me. That's a part of me. 'Cause you see when I'm ignored, I feel the pain of being hurt. When I'm alone, it makes me think of many things. Just like yesterday. Haha. I feel like it's odd that I'm telling this to those who will be interested to read this blog of an unpleasant person. Haha.

You know, I feel empty. It's been like, when I went to a place, I forget those 'sad' thoughts and then when I went back home, I felt alone even though I have those people with me. It seems that it's not a home anymore, it's more of like a house now. It's home when we're complete, in daylight and a little at night. But when they're not there it's not.

I know I'm talking nonsense here. Please bear it with me. I have many things to say right now. 'Cause I don't have someone to talk to. Haha.

To the person who is cold to me today. Since in the last few weeks, I'm sorry. Hahaha, it feels awkward ne? I'm saying this because I don't want to let the bond that I forged to be cut down like in the past year with no reason of some sort. I don't know if you'll read this. Maybe you will since I'll ask you to read this. I know why you're cold to me. I know it's my fault. But, I'm not saying that you have no part of the things happened. I became cold to you, I know. If you haven't noticed, I'm not seeing you either, I mean, looking to your face. Why? Because I can't. I'm deciding the most hardest thing that I will do. If I'm gonna do it or not. I've been reaching some hints to you, don't you know that? Perhaps not. 'Cause you're happy. I'm not doing this to make you be troubled. I'm saying this because I'm tired of things that's happening around me. With you, with myself, with them. I know that maybe the reason we got cold to each other is because of I'm always with her. You've changed, I've changed. All of us changed, even him changed. Many things happened and I've been paying attention to it. You know, I'm afraid that if I tell you this in person, you'll yell at me or do something like you used to. Because, I've known you for a long time. I want to get serious for now, I want to finish this once and for all. If you think I'm afraid, maybe I am. But to tell you frankly, even though I'm afraid, I don't like you to judge me that way. That's why when I have problems anymore, I'm not reaching to you, to them. Ask the one I am with everyday. I'm having problems, but even she is listening, I can't say all of them. Why? 'Cause everytime I need your help, you guys, when I look at you, I feel terrible and at the same time, terrified...... Like this problem that I'm having today.... I don't know that if I'll tell you this, you'll listen to me or not... 'Cause even though you think that it's just a cheap problem... For me it is a big and important one.....

To the other one, thank you for introducing me to the other world? *laugh* just kidding. ^.^ No, for when I'm being with you, even we don't see each other everyday. You've shared a part of your life in mine. And I'll treasure it ^.^ Thanks for someone like you had existed and loved the other me... I mean the part that a**** lover and all... And all the feelings you feel everyday. For you say 'communication is important' right? In the friendship within us, for me is so....... undescribable LoL.... Thanks again ^.^

So, again, sorry for the nonsense talk ^.^ But I can say that I feel fine now... A little bit fine ^.^

I HATE YOU.... SO MUCH....

2006-10-17T17:05:00.001+08:00

This is for someone I know..... It's up to them who they are...

Hey... How are you? Me? Oh I'm fine...
Being with you is nice... But there's one thing that bugs me...
I want you to know that I hate you
I don't care if you'll shout at me... slap me.. or kill me... whatever you want to do to me...
I don't know you anymore... I hate you... I don't know what's my place there in your heart... Sometimes you're talking to me and smiling.... sometimes, you treat me like a wind... So I'm TIRED...

***k you.... I really, really am annoyed... Cause you know what? Because I'm tired... So tired that I don't want to see your face... I'm so SICK... Cause I think I've had enough of this f***ing s**t. STOP IT!!!!!!!!!

I hate you... I really, really hate you... You think this is a joke? Think again, I'm not joking... I really, really hate you... JUST GO TO HELL!!!!

I've had enough... I can't say anything to you... I'm so sad that I want to tell you more.... I want to release this f***ing 'feeling' inside me... I want to shout at you! I want to yell at you man!! But what can I say?..... I can't tell it to you..... You think I'm scared?.... Yes I am..... But still..... You don't know me...

You suprised? Don't be... Because I tell you.... This is the REAL ME.......

(*edited*)
(I don't want to put more curses.... -.-)

...UNUSUAL....

2006-09-23T16:38:00.001+08:00

You know what? I don't like them..... I hate them....

Why? Because, all they can think about are theirselves! It's always this... always that.... WHAT THE---- Are you insane?!

I am not thinking straight at times, I know... I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, I know... But damn! I want to be free!!! Free to decide things on my own!!!!

CRAP!!!!

You just can't tell me what to do with my life forever!!! I have my own life!!! I understand you have problems that's bigger than I have that's why I'm not telling mine to you. 'Cause I don't like to give you another burden, but please, don't blame me!! You're not the only one who's having problems! Don't pour it out on me, I mean, your anger because of many bills and a lot more. I want to do the things that I want!!!!!

It's too frustrating!!!

I'm trying the best I can to understand you! I always feel the tension between us when we see each other! It's like you're mad at me but I don't know the reason why?! I love you! Don't you see that?! I'm here for you! Whenever he's not around, I'm trying my best to make you smile, to the point that I can't sleep because I'm worried about you! He even told me when he called yesterday to give my best to cheer you up because you have so many things in your mind. Even do the thing that I really can't do to you... What did I get? A cold appreciation from you. I really tried my best! And still I'm trying, trying to make you smile! Trying to ease the damn tension that's building around us! I want to see you smile again.... Free from worries... Free from damn payments... Free from those people who want to hurt you and him...

But what can I do, if you're not opening your heart to do that? WHAT?!

I don't know if this'll reach you, but I know, one day, you'll be able to read this.... But WHEN??

Bursted feelings

2006-09-06T20:10:00.001+08:00

Hmmmm......... Where do I start? Ah! It's like this...

This day is the most worst day for me? You know why? Because I wasn't allowed to go to Baguio with my friends and classmates. I wasn't allowed to go to were PRISAAP will be held!!! *cries*

I was so pissed earlier...when I couldn't take it any longer, I cried. I really, really cried. Hard. Luckily, our subject is over that morning when I bursted to tears. But before that, I went to the guidance office cause I don't like my friends and classmates to see me cry. I thought they'll just allow me to cry there and understand me. But I was wrong.
They said that I really didn't understand my parents, because I am mad at them. And they want to talk to my parents to end this conversation for good. For they all they receive from me is just about the negative things about my parents.

WTF?! O_o

I'm not mad at my parents! I was just so disappointed and sad for I wasn't allowed to go to Baguio! They think I'm mad because the way I speak but I'm not! And I understand them! It's just that my feelings were all mixed up cause I'm expecting that they'll allow me to go there! I thought they understand my side!!!! I was so pissed!!! So, when I said that I'll come back later cause I'm deciding whether I'll give my mom's phone # or not. But really, I don't want to give it to them. I don't want them to solve my problem. I just want someone to listen to my rants and pain today. Not with the past events for Hell's sake! They didn't understand me!!!!!

When I went to our room. I've been thinking whether I'll give the number of my mom or not. And then, I just found myself pouring my pain at my friends. And they LISTENED to me!! And I saw my crush (who is also my friend) LISTENING to me!!!

Honestly, I didn't imagine that they'll listen to me 'cause you see I don't tell them my problem or what I feel towards something 'cause I thought that they won't listen to me. But wow! I felt someone was beside and there doing their best to make me stop from crying. My friends are there! I was so happy 'cause they're listening to me. And it made me feel fine afterwards. But still I was depressed because my parents didn't allow me to go with them. But as long as some of my friends are here. Maybe I'll live.

Periodical Exams Are Over.... ALRIGHT!!!!!

2006-08-18T18:15:00.002+08:00

Yehey!!!! 1st Periodical Exams are finally over! At last!! I'm so happy. I didn't know that I'll actually live after those hard study nights!! And some problems arising.... Hehehe, thanks for the advice dad! I love you!!! I'm really glad to have a father like you ^.^

Anyways, we... my 'barkada' (friends) went to McDonalds. And yes! We're complete! Haha!! Jane, one of my friend (bestfriend to... well... they're all my bestfriend!! And buddies also!! Hehe..) stayed with me while the 3 of my friends went buy their food... She asked me if there's anything that bothers me or I'm having problems with them.... I don't like to tell it to her because it's just kinda awkward... But she insisted so... I told her what's bothering me.... Then I just noticed that I've opened to her...

Well, that's the first time that I actually told her why I'm not talking sometimes... Or pissed at them... I'm the quiet type when it means to the group... I don't like to whine or tell something bad to them whenever they're doing something... So it's kinda odd... But I think it turned out a little well... I know that my opening up is not over yet...

Okay, enough of the serious talking. We went to a computer shop again. (Talking about a little accident happened before going there. Nothing worse though.) Then, after a couple of hours, we went to McDonalds again (since it's just a walking distance to the shop..) to buy McFloat.. Man! That is really the groups' favorite I think! Haha!!

Anyway, I think that it turned out well... I'm so happy!

SPOILED BRATS

2006-08-02T19:05:00.001+08:00

I'm really, really pissed by those bunch of "super" girly kids, so "maarte". I know that they hate me, and I don't know what happened why they hate me. But since they're not doing any harm to me, I'm not doing anything...

But now, since I just got a very, very, hint from them, I'm going to continue the war that they've started. Damn those kids!!! I don't care anymore if they're going to call me bully or tomboy or whatever.... Oh they're so gonna cry tomorrow if I'll ever see those freaking brats!!!!! I'm gonna skin them alive!!!!!!!

The ACTIVITY

2006-07-26T19:14:00.001+08:00

Yay!!! We won at the contest!!!! Wheeee!!!!

I'm so happy^.^ After all, I've gave my best, I almost did the unexpected, I gave my super-duper best in that contest so it's really, really worth it.... ^.^

Events after the test...

2006-07-21T20:08:00.001+08:00

Yehey!! Monthly exams are over!!! Whoohoo!!! But I don't know if I passed or not...Hehehe ^^;

We went to McDonalds after we finished our test (my friends and I, doesn't included my guy friend.) Then we went to an internet cafe where we taught my friends on how to play 02Jam (Thanks for introducing it chi-chan! ^^ ) But the thing is that internet cafe was full of boys!! I didn't mind though, I mean what's the problem if the cafe invaded by a bunch of boys? They won't eat us, would they? Hehehehe....

While we were playing 02Jam, my friend (the guy) chatted me through YM to say to my friend to come to the school, again... I asked why, then he said that he also didn't know 'cause he was also asked to come to school. And I just tagged along... So I went to the school with my two friends.... Then the story goes...

To make the story short, I became a part of the choir I'm not supposed to be in... It's a contest actually, but I didn't mind though, I think it's kinda enjoyable... My two friends also became a part of the choir and they became the composers of our "Banda Kusina", another activity for the Nutrition Month. I was also included in that activity too.... Also my Dad just went home from the province!!! Wheee!!!

After all that happened... It was a tiring day ^.^

Different

2006-07-11T19:11:00.001+08:00

This morning, I'm almost left behind by my service but I'm still fine after that.
Today, we celebrated the opening of Nutrition Month by a parade of vegetable guys. My depressing day was started here. After the program, (introduction of the vegetables. We also had parlor games) our principal told us that we can have our recess even though we're 20 minutes early. My friends decided to get their 'baon' first. So I decided to get mine too. Then, after they went to our room, they just decided to eat their lunch/food! (Don't get confused, we eat our food for lunch in recess. It consists of rice, viands etc...) They know that eating inside the classroom is forbidden but still they didn't listen, I think they don't really want to listen to me anyway. Then we were found out by our commander (he's our highest officer in ACP), I haven't finished my lunch 'cause they're hurrying theirselves to finish their food. I became quiet after that incident. Then after they're finished eating their lunches, we went down and walk around. I notice my 'other' friend, walking towards our building, by himself. (yes, my 'other' friend is a guy.) I began to think that maybe he had a problem or something...

After recess, it all started...

My 'other' friend and I are quiet in the room. Then they're asking me why I'm sad or "badtrip" (maybe pissed?). I didn't anwer them. Then they ask my 'other' friend why he's pissed or quiet also.. I actually didn't heard what he said but then one of our classmates ask me, why did we left him in recess, I actually remembered it but I'm thinking that he'll join his 'other' friends... But I said to them 'I don't know what happened to him, all I can say is he's not pissed because of that..." But maybe he is...
They actually pissing me off because they're asking the same questions over and over again... To make the story short, my 'other' friend aren't talking to me, to us, to our group...

We aren't talking to each other all day, he's not talking to my friends too.. Maybe we're really are the reason. I wrote a letter to him, saying on behalf of my friend, I'm sorry if that was really the cause of his crying... But still he didn't talk to me... Why? Why must it be this way? When I actually learned that I really have a crush on him, this had happened?!?! WHY?!

Weird?!

2006-07-05T19:32:00.001+08:00

why is that I kinda like what others hate? Like reading a shounen-ai or something? Is it really that bad? It's just an anime for Christ's sake!!

Whether you like it or not, I like reading fanfics like shounen-ai or shoujo-ai... But I just read those because I think it's kinda cute... But for them they're not...

I hate those girls when they knew that I read shounen-ai fanfics... WTF?! I mean, what's the matter with them?
They kinda like, "ayoko magbasa ng shounen-ai, kadiri sobra..." (I don't like reading shounen-ai, that's gross!) with that, they end it with "ewww"....

Honestly, I want to punch their faces! I mean, if you don't like what I am saying, couldn't you just shut up or leave us??